Sweet mask

I keep forgetting to take before pictures when I do this. Anyhow, I've been breaking it pretty bad lately. Too many changes of the hormonal type. Stupid insurance changing their minds about what type of bc it will cover. I don't care if they are generic, they are not the same formula,ok?

I break out whenever I change prescription. Just when my body gets used to it,I get changed pill pack.

So here you go, tried and tested hike remedies. Honey, turmeric, and cinnamon. Antibacterial, antibiotic, anti inflammatory and humectant....just what my skin needs right now.

Wheee

Its been three days, two showers, one super hot hair washing session (it was cold, okay? That and I'm still trying to fade out the dark purple), hand dishwashing event and several boxes of packing and unpacking and all I have to account for it is one tiny microchip on my mani.

That's even better than usual.

I changed my base coat, kept my usual top coat. I've been oiling every day like I'm supposed to (and hardly ever do). I can't tell what the difference was but I'm guessing it was filing the tips of my nails on the surface ever so slightly.

As I mentioned before the tips are prone to peeling. They split and peel like layers of onion skin. I picked up a tip from a fellow blogger whose bit of the web I ran into last week. She advised to file the nail as usual but to bevel the edge just slightly at a 45 degree angle to keep the layers from splitting. I tried that and I do have to say polish application went more smoothly. I usually have a bit of a problem of the tip not getting enough or too much polish from where I try to compensate for the splitting.

Its hard to explain. I'll have to make a video some day.

Nail stampage

I've had a cheap set Jouji bought me over a year ago on a whim during a freddys trip for for food. I tried it, sucked and tossed it with forgotten nail tools. I found them again and discovered how to properly stamp. I was so happy....and bored with the shitty selection, I bought me a bundle monster disc set.

Let me tell you, I am in love. I am beyond thrilled with the results. I just wish I had chosen gold instead of black. Gold would have given me a brocade effect, but lace is nice too. I have so many designs I want to change the mani every day, but I refuse too. One, because it isnt good to use so much acetone in one week. Two, because I dont have much free time anymore. Turns out moving takes time...

Date Night & Braided Lazy Wrap

While I've found myself doing the same hair style over and over because I'm one lazy bitch, I found a new variant with which I am quite happy with. It keeps my hair up and out of the way AND it shows off the fun tips. I mean, what's the point of having long, healthy, gorgeous hair if 1) I'm going to hate it and 2) can't do shit with it?

So despite the conventional thought that I should not bleach or dye my hair, I do it anyway. The problem is that its gotten so long that most updos hide the color. The ends are bleached once a year and maintained with my color of choice through out the year. I've gone from a plum to a fire engine red to a blue that went so dark it looked black to my current color, an odd mixture of a fuschia-purple.  I'm finally with a color that I am satisfied but I keep going back to the whole question of 'why, if I can't show it off?'

I was at work, irritated with my hair and thinking of chopping it ALL off because a) it was in a shitty braid and b) I didn't have a comb/brush to get rid of it. See, I had woken up late and had no time to style my hair. It looked, like shit. Thankfully, I had the eduard sticks that Seeshami gave me in December still sitting in my purse. So I tried to do a bun. Sadly, my hair's too thick to do a full braided bun and hold it with the short sticks... so I did a half lazy wrap. And just like that I had the edgy, fun twist to an updo that showed off the color so well.

I'd show pictures on how it look sin the front but dumbass me deleted it. Anyhow, enjoy the look from today's date night!

I'm a sexy cow... even if Des says its more of a flower pattern

I'm just glad I can wear this guy again! 

One of the few pieces the hubby has gotten me. 

Landslide

This song... oh, it hits me right in the feel and it makes me hurt. Its a rather bitter sweet feeling though. This song was remade and sung by the Dixie Chics right when my own heart imploded, crashed and fell apart. At the time I didn't quite rationalize what this song was about, but I know it spoke to me.

"I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I, I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too oh yes
I'm getting older too"

This part would just make me cry.

I knew what it meant, I just wasn't ready to admit. I wasn't quite ready to let go, if that makes sense. I knew the moment that silly little dream, when that one-sided love was to end but.... I just was not ready to admit it.


I am glad that I did eventually. I finally saw the amazing young man standing next to him and I gave him a chance. Its so silly, isn't it?


Anyhow, I suppose I'm just feeling a tad nostalgic because of.. who the hell knows?

In the spirit of the season,  this week's mani. I finally got around to actually buying myself more base coat.

And I finally used my stamping kit.

AND I got myself the most awesome magenta color from fingerpaints. While I still don't like the matte finish, I love the color pay off.

Despite the nostalgia, and my strange desire to sing along to Landslide ( While I hate my own voice, my cats don't. That's a good thing as I didn't want to wake up the man thing.) I also felt it was time for change. 

I think that's what's bugging me, now that I think about it. I feel the universe tugging me in a certain direction -- which one , I don't know yet, I just feel the tug -- and its time to stop fighting it and just go with it. I started the year with a nice change : a great job. I'm working on another one : a new apartment. 

I might as well throw the friggin' blog into the mix with a new lay out and fresh pages. I'm going to start organizing this fucker a little better. I'm tired of feeling so all over the place in my head. I don't know if that makes any sense. It does to me. 

And with that... I'm done. Whee! 

Moh

I'm having a series of days where everything irritates the shit out of me. Birds singing, rain falling... my own breathing. I feel easily irritated and all I want to do is curl up in a soft blanket with hubby and have myself a good cuddle-snog-fest and call it an existence.

But even the thought of that and my impending shift change makes me want to scream all over again. I barely have a few hours a day with him as it is and now I'm going to have zip, zilch, zero, nada.

I swear, if I find myself having some potential time and he's off with his friends I'll be tempted to kill him. Instead I'll just put itching powder in all his fucking boxers.

Apparently, I *am* in a shit mood. -le sigh-

I need me a glass of wine.

ps; I also am annoyed at the fact that I finished this week's mani... and I totally forgot the nail art. 'doh!

Now thats more like it!

A lot less blue and more red. Love it!

Land of Oz

I suppose that's a good way to describe the garden. Breathtakingly beautiful in one hand and downright frightening in and another.  The self guided tour, at this moment, is a scare. Many trees have been felled to give way to renovations, plants have been destroyed and there's an overwhelming sadness that grips my heart when I see these things. I suppose I really am a giant hippy. If it were up to me, I'd like to live off in the boonies, surrounded by wildlife without a care in the world.

But I'm married to a man who loves his creature comforts, so that's not going to happen anytime soon.

With that said, as long as I can visit Mother Nature, I'm okay with being stuck in the city. And that's the crux of it, the real reason why I won't move back to California again. Its too hot. Its too icky and I just don't like how nature isn't so readily accessible to me. Sure, I can have some gorgeous beaches and fantastic food -- let's not forget family -- but the truth of it is I hate the smog. I hate the trash that I see whenever I visit the beach ... and most of all, I really hate how dead things get during the summer.

Maybe if I ever do move back I'll be stuck in the northern part. That would be nice... I do quite love the redwood forests. ^-^

I wanted the tree to feel a giantess. :D 

And we're off to see the Wizard....

Now, on the hair front... I managed to strip some of the more stubborn blue out to the point that my hair started to look really light brown. Still not light enough but I was sick of the color. I slapped some ion brilliants in Magenta. It came out highlighter pink from the tube and everything it touch got stained that hue. My hair? Because of the sheer amount of blue in it its more of a fuschia-brown. Not exactly pleasant, but not very unpleasant.

I think from this point onward I'm going to have to baby my hair, stop attempts at stripping color out of it and then rebleach again in a few months.

Another Hike

Yesterday I went out with a few friends on yet another hike.  (Maybe that's the theme for this year?) It was nice catching up with a friend and reconnecting with one after realizing we're both a little too stubborn and stupid sometimes. Thankfully we've both matured and can now be in the same room without discord. In fact, after a while it just felt like old times. Yay!

That just comes to show you that sometimes, a friendship is just not over. They're merely on pause.

I took some fantastic shots, and like always, I limit myself to only three pictures. It takes way too long to edit over 180 images, y'know? That and I'm super self conscious and some shots go straight to the trash before even editing. I doubt I'll be showing all 180. Fuck, I've already dumped at least ten and that's simply from a mere glance. They just weren't what I wanted... and a few more are still under consideration. They're amazing but I don't know WHICH one I want. -ugh-

Today I'm going to try and strip more of that purple out of my hair. I got me some vitamin c tablets and coconut oil ready as I know I'll be needing to baby the crap out of my ends once everything's said and done.

I'll post pictures of that later.

While this tree was gorgeous head on, I wanted to
see it from an ant's perspective.

The color's brilliant but I'm whisked away by the
wood nymph hiding in there. 

There really wasn't anything too interesting besides this
cool statue thing. 

Randimosity

Its almost time for me to ship off my package for the LHC hair swap... and I'm feeling antsy. I feel like I got *nothing* to show for except the three sticks I made. I wanted to make more but then I got that new job and its suck a killer lately, my hands are -fucked-. I could hardly brush my hair this morning.

By the way, I am glad I did a deep conditioning last night, even if I did it so late to the point I had to not only sleep on it but have super icky hair at work. Nothing much a simple bun could fix. -shrug- Oh well... and if anyone was grossed out by my 'greasy' hair today, it sucks to be them.... 'cause I have super soft, mega shiny,  wavy hair. It seems that's what my hair needed.. a ton of coconut oil after a bleach and clarifying nightmare.

I still haven't been able to bleed out the purple enough. It shows up better, but only in patches. I'm kind of bummed out, but whatever. I'll just have to invest in vitamin c tablets and honey for next week. This clarifying shit is only drying out my hair.

Well, after much thinking and working on it, I have managed to make a charm for my giftee. Fucked up my fingers and I couldn't close it properly so I'll give her instructions to keep an eye on it. She may have needle nose pliers to work with, which I do not have. I have no clue what happened to them... but I had to use a monkey wrench, eyebrow tweezers and ingenuity to get it to work. I had to open one of the hair products she wanted to try to make sure it didn't stink too much. She said she wasn't fond of super strong smells and neither am I. It had to pass the sniff test... barely. I'm not fond of almond scent. Well, at least the fragrance crap, not the real smell. Its like banana flavour. The fake shit is just shit and the real stuff is delicious.

But for some reason I still like grape flavour-- fake and real-- to the point that I sometimes crave the shit stuff. LOL

Whee.. I'm rambly!! :D

Tomorrow I hit up Sally's and pick up another product she wants to try. Then swoop in for some delicious dark chocolate then ship off it goes on Friday.

Self indulgence

Sometimes I go through life feeling sorry for myself and annoyed that I'm too much "this", not enough "that", or heavens forgive me, just plain Jane. (And I am wrong about this as there is nothing wrong with either except for the feeling of inadequateness.)

Hardly do I ever consider myself sexy, hot shit, side of fries or let alone ever cute. Usually, I only look into the mirror to clean my face or put on makeup as I otherwise find myself nit picking every flaw I find, real or imagined.
It's a really painful observation to admit. My insecurities get the best of me.

But I'm really done with that. I'm just sick of hating myself. I'm sick of how we all have been conditioned to self loathe (note,I say "we all" because it is something that affects us all, men and women alike). ...really, the more I add to this entry the more I think this should be moved to fabulush, but I digress.

So, here I am. Without make up, hair in a messy bun, pock mark, pimple and all. Damnit,I am more than just skin deep. I am one, sassy, nerdy, beautiful broad.

Today I was lazy

And did nothing that I wanted to do except maybe drink me some tea and wash the bedding. 

I've done some light cleaning but not enough for me to go on a hike/shoot tomorrow and NOT feel antsy that nothing was done today. I hate those days. I don't even understand why I've been so anxious lately, but I have. I go to make myself some tea and I find myself putting away dishes, doing another load, scrubbing the counters and .. then my tea's cold. -.- 

I go to use the bathroom and I find myself  distracted by the grout that needs cleaning, and the ton of beauty products that need cleaning. 

Ugh. I hate it when I get like this. I can't seem to enjoy the little things at that point. I find myself nit picking them. 

That just means I need more social time with people. Play some games like Party Jenga or go crazy building mazes in which the object of the game surreptitiously moves from trying to get to the temple and be safe from being eaten by the Minotaur to see how many times we can get this beast laid by sacrificial lambs.

And now, we spice things up!

So this whole time I didn't have to eat them? 

Mommy, what is that black thing doing to the human thing?

 Sorry Watson, I forgot you're still a baby.

The duck is back~!

And I don't know how to feel about it.

Its been years since I've updated either Duck & Chicken or even Green Flamingoes. Partly because the damned host server crashed on *both* strips and I just gave up on it.

But the duck's back, on a better server to boot and now I'm itching to get started on the drawing again. Chiefly because a) I'm feeling more creative.

Thing is I don't know what to do. Should I start a new comic all together, mash up D&C and GF or just do a GF reboot? Damn.. too many choices!!

It doesn't help that I've no fucking clue what I've done with my tablet either. DAMN IT!

Photography -- continued

Maybe I should just change the name of this blog. Its become less about hair and more about random things in life with my photography on top of it all.

I can't blame myself, really.. photography is a *great* stress reliever. It gets me out and about, my creativity gets satiated and it lets me forget about my daily life. If only you'd know half the shit I'm dealing with but I promised it'd be kept offline so.. I guess I will keep it so.

Those of you who know and or care, thank you. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Just when I feel like I need to go home and drown my sorrows in chocolate or something like it, I look back at the pictures I've shot in the last few weeks. It makes me smile and I can't wait for my Saturday because that means I get to go shooting again.I don't know what it will consist of or where it'll be, but damn it, I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN.

The Little Things

I suppose its a selfish thought, but I figured I'd start doing things for me. It doesn't have to be something huge, but just things I once used to do that bring me enjoyment. Like a pampering day with my pearl face masks, shaving my legs or better yet, go for a walk in the rain.

Why did I stop walking in the rain?

Ah. yeah. Walking pneumonia.

I guess that just means I have to invest in a better coat, dryer shoes and make sure to bundle up when I come back with a good cup of tea.

In the meantime, I'll keep on photographing.

Here are more pictures from the other day. I really, really had fun and I felt relaxed by the time I turned in for the night. It felt refreshing. I really do have to go back. It is one of my favorite places on Earth, just like the lovely spot off the i10 in the Santa Anita mountains. It wasn't very far in, but I loved parking in the turn about, watch the sunset and the lights of the city twinkle on.

Because, you know, star gazing isn't really a thing near LA. ^-^

I call this rock gazing. I can't believe the water was so clear.

Also, I really need to start blogging about hair. I suppose I felt I was getting too obsessed. I also need to photograph the awesome purple. Its finally faded enough that it is obviously purple.

I suppose I'll do that tomorrow a long with some silly shots of lego time.

Mother nature is Serenity

The past few months have been nothing but stressful. We're talking the usual wear and tear from the fiscal grind on top of more serious, personal matters. While I've pretended that everything is 'o.k' and I keep toiling with my mouth mum in a very misguided attempt to keep the monsters from becoming reality, my little universe has begun to unravel.

But see, I've been down this road before. I can see the outcome from miles away and I don't want to end up there again. I am done with the panic attacks, the self-harm and the belief that I'm not worth enough to seek help in any shape or form. These demons I've come to know so well are there, ready to pounce, tug, and pull me down the rabbit hole. And I have no desire to let that happen. Ever. Again.

I have more tools at my disposal this time. Whereas before all I had was my writing -- and now that I am feeling more powerful than I did before, I have searched and searched for the Muse that kept me alive. She's nowhere to be seen... or at least I thought she was gone. But like the caterpillar she's just found a different incarnation to help me along with and so far its been the shape of a camera.

Since I've gotten this camera I've been out and a bout more. I've also started to see the world in a different way and I've also found myself doing things I haven't done before.

Since I left SoCal almost thirteen years ago, I have not been as in tune with mother nature as I used to . My hikes have been less. My sense of adventure muted. I used to run around in the forests of Santa Anita or swim along the waves of Long Beach and I'd be fueled with so many images that I'd go home and write for ages. Now that same desire to create has returned in a way I never expected it. I do not go out there to be inspired. I leave my house because *I am* inspired.  In the last two weeks I've been out and about. I've seen friends I haven't in a long time.... and I find myself balanced for those few precious moments I'm walking along with Mother Nature.

The sound of her streams, the feel of her tear drops on my face, the way my feet sink into her pathways. I love it all. Why, the hell, did I not do this with more frequency?

I suppose I wasn't ready yet.


Anyhow, I figure I'd share more of the lovely landscapes I have always adored.

2014 changes

A few days after Yule, I decided to try something different. Roomie, henceforth known as Ninja, helped me come up with a new look. He balayaged my hair, fairly light then slapped some purple instead of my red. Sadly, we didn't estimate how blue-loving my hair would be and instead of it turning purple, it turned black. Purple black.

So, I'm kind of rocking a cholita purple right now. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it, but neither Ninja or I are happy with the over all change. We wanted something brighter. We're now currently waiting for most of this stuff to bleed out before we try lightening my hair a few more shades and then putting in a more red based purple versus the blue based we used the first time.

I cheated on J. Ninja gave me a trim. Its slightly layered, but I have more movement. He also commented on how healthy my hair is and how refreshing it was to see someone with such length... such healthy length. And no, I don't let just anyone touch my hair. Ninja is a licensed professional. He and his girlfriend live with us and he's always dying her hair. I figured he can't suck because at that point, we'd hear the slaughter if it goes wrong.

Anyhow, I've been enjoying my present a lot. We visited the Tsubaki Grand Shrine for New Year's (hubby's shinto so we like to go for the yearly blessings) and I took the opportunity to shoot a little bit.

The only editing on this was to change the brightness level slightly.I didn't even change the 

white balance... this is how *every one* of the shots of this tree came out. I'll have to 

post the rest later.